


Would you be happy with what you leave behind?

by Melancholy_Danny



Category: Crankiplier - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Boyfriends, Fluff, Gay, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24748249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melancholy_Danny/pseuds/Melancholy_Danny
Summary: After Quarantine starts getting to Ethan, He temporarily moves in with Mark and is forced to face his feelings. Not only his feelings for Mark, but his own insecurities.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 14
Kudos: 153





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I suck at writing but this has been in my mind for days. Enjoy.

Ethan stared quietly at his screen, lost in thought. Him and Mark had just finished an Unus Annus video and he was now listening to Mark tell him about what Chica did this morning.  
Ethan cherished these moments. They were calm. There was no camera pressure, no one else around, just them. Peaceful. Content. Despite what was seen in the videos, Mark liked being around Ethan, and Ethan obviously felt the same. 

Today was one of those days where Ethan felt drained. With quarantine going on, he'd hadn't had much human contact besides Kathryn, and video calls with Mark. It was draining. Ethan liked being alone sometimes, but being alone for too long would cause an emotional fall on anyone. 

"-than, Ethan!" His head shot towards his screen again, seeing a worried look on Mark's face. He smiled shyly and bit his lip. 

"Were you even listening? What's going on?" Mark asked, no sign of anger in his voice which Ethan was thankful for. 

"Sorry, Mark. Things haven't been so great lately. I zoned out. I'm so sorry.. " he apologized. He felt awful. He knew what it felt like to be ignored, and he'd ignored Mark. 

"Hey, Eth, don't worry. We have moments.. " he stopped for a second. "Look.. You know you can come to me for anything, right? Like, I'm here for you. I don't want you to think that you can't come to me for advice" he said seriously. 

What was Ethan supposed to say? He didn't wanna unload everything on Mark, but once he started talking, he couldn't stop. 

"Just.. Being alone is taking a toll on me. I know places are opening back up and stuff but.. We're still not seeing people just to be safe, and to influence our fans, and I'm fine with it! I want them to be safe.. But I'm getting in this scary mindset that I'll never see my friends again because it's been so long.. It feels like this is the the normal, and I don't want it to be.. " he said.  
"And I feel selfish about it. There's a virus, people are getting sick. It just.. Sucks, ya know? Like I can't wait until everything is okay and we can make videos together.. "

Mark stared silently for a moment, and nodded. "Hey.. We've both been safe, staying clean.. Maybe there's no harm if I were to come over? Or you come here? We don't have to, but I wouldn't mind it. I miss people too. Ever since the breakup, this house feels way too big. Maybe you could.. Stay for a bit? Quarantine here?" He suggested. 

Ethan chewed on his lip. That was really tempting. There'd be no harm, right? He gave Mark a slight smile and nodded. "Alright uh.. I'll be over tomorrow with what I need.. Thanks, Mark.. It really means a lot"

\---

And that is what led to Ethan carrying bags to Mark's door. He didn't bring too much. Clothes, bathroom stuff, Spencer, and a few things for recording. He didn't bring all his equipment, since Mark told him he could use some of his. Plus, it would be way too much work. And of course, Mark was carrying bags too. He'd never let anyone do it themselves, he had a big heart. 

This all felt a little weird to Ethan. Almost four years ago, he got a call from Mark asking him if he wanted to move to LA to do videos with him and edit for him. For a kid who'd just turned twenty, it wad terrifying. It wasn't a super easy decision. He had to leave home and quit his job, but he was dedicated to YouTube and knew he made the right choice. 

Mark had been supportive the whole time. He didn't pressure Ethan, and he let him stay at his house for a week until he moved into his own place. He helped Ethan adjust to a new place, and made him feel comfortable. In videos he joked about how he couldn't stand Ethan, but outside of videos he was nothing but supportive. 

It felt the same. Sure, he lived in a different house now, but the gesture was as sweet as it was then. The thought made Ethan tear up as he walked into the guest room, and Mark almost instantly noticed. 

"Eth? Ethan, what's wrong?" He asked, grabbing the boys shoulders gently with his hands. Ethan looked at Mark. He wasn't embarrassed to cry in front of him anymore, especially since Mark did that enough himself. 

"I just.. You.. You mean so much" he said honestly. "Growing up, when I found your channel, I looked up to you. I wanted to be like you. You helped so many people.. You seemed to have a reason to keep you going, to keep you alive. And I wanted that so bad. And I worked so hard.. And you gave me the opportunity to get as far as I have. And I just appreciate everything you've done.. " he said, wiping his eyes and chuckling. 

"You even let me stay because I'm such a big baby who hates being alone, and you haven't made fun of me for it yet.. " he joked, trying to lighten the mood. 

Mark gave him a kind smile, shaking his head. "Ethan, I saw potential in you. You worked your ass off, and I knew from the moment you did that backflip, that there was something special about you"  
Ethan bit his lip, nodding slowly. How could he not believe Mark when he sounded so genuine? 

"Also.. You didn't even give me time to tease you, asshole. But hey, no problem. This benefits us both, because I was lonely as well.. " he pulled his hands away and rubbed his hands together. "Alright, from this moment on, my home is your home. Eat what you want, record when you want, all I ask is you clean up after yourself, and help with chores a little. Respect my house, but don't be awkward.. If that makes sense"

Ethan nodded and sat the last bag down. "Alright.. Well, I barely slept last night so I'm gonna nap" mark nodded and walked towards the door. "Nap well. I'll wake you for lunch. And to talk about Unus Annus. But rest up"

As Mark walked out, Ethan stared. God, he admired this man. He shook his head. No, Ethan, not now.  
He had a small crush on Mark since they met, and it was only growing. But he hid it like Hell. Mark was a close friend, and he didn't wanna ruin that at all. He sighed and tried to think of other things as he crawled into the guest bed.  
Living with your crush for a while, what could go wrong?


	2. Chapter Two

Being Semi-Famous was hard, Ethan knew that. It Came with crazy fans, danger, doxxing, and even being followed in public. But those weren't the things that bothered him. Ethan had a platform and wanted to make a difference. After seeing Mark for years raising money and speaking out, it motivated Ethan to want to do the same. 

He looked over to the other side of the couch where Mark was typing away at his laptop. "If you died tomorrow, would you be happy with what you've done?"

Mark looked up, not expecting a question like that to so randomly come up. "Of course not, why do you ask?"

"Are you happy with our friendship?" Ethan asked. "You aren't happy with what you've done, and it seems.. As though I'm part of that?"

"Oh, god no, Ethan" Mark said and sat his laptop on the table. "I love what I've done, and I love our Channel and having you as a friend. What I meant was, I wouldn't be satisfied.. Because I wanna do more. For myself, my fans, my friends.. Even the world."

Ethan nodded and moved closer, running a hand through his hair. "I feel like I need to do more. I don't wanna die and have regrets.. You know? Like the backflip"

Mark frowned. "Ethan, why do you hate that so much? The backflip, it's not that bad"

"It's embarrassing! I was some eighteen year old kid trying to get my favorite youtubers attention. It's so weird!" Ethan said, making a face. So many people had seen both videos. Yeah, not once, but twice, he made a fool of himself. 

"I like it. Genuinely, I do" Mark said. "I know I make jokes about it, but I love that memory"

"Love it?" He looked at Mark as if he were insane. "Dude, why?"

"First off, we wouldn't be sitting here if you hadn't" Mark pointed out. "After hanging with you that day, I realized how determined you were. You were more than a fan, you were a determined young guy trying to accomplish your dreams. That's why I took interest." Mark said. 

Ethan chewed on his lip and smiled a bit. He could get that. Mark was right. They would've never been friends if he hadn't done a backflip. Sure, he was embarrassed, but it did have meaning to it. 

"You're right.. I get it. Thanks mark" he said and smiled. "Do.. You have any regrets?"

Mark watched Ethan, staring into his eyes. Ethan watched, waiting for an answer. Mark seemed so lost in thought, as if what Ethan asked was life-changing. 

After a few moments, he replied with a simple "yeah"

Mark then stood and brushed his shirt off, sighing. "Alright, well, I think I'm gonna go take Chica for a walk real quick. Coming with?"

"No, I'm fine" Ethan said and gave him a thankful smile. He liked How mark tried to include Ethan, even in little things. It made him feel wanted. 

As Mark took off, Ethan started to think about his answer. It had been so vague, and hesitant. He couldn't read the emotion in Mark's eyes when he said it. He shrugged it off. Maybe it was something personal, or maybe he regretted multiple things and didn't think he needed to say. Ethan didn't wanna look too far into it. 

He pulled out his phone and scrolled through Twitter while he waited for Mark to come back inside. 

Once Mark had returned, he unhooked Chica and put away her lead before sitting back down. "Hey Darling" he teased and grabbed the tv remote. Ethan however, barely noticed his return as he was stuck in thought. 

Mark's words were hitting him. If he hadn't made that one choice, they wouldn't be here. If anything would've happened. If he got sick, chickened out, or even if Mark was in a different mood that day. It hit, because he couldn't imagine a life without their friendship. 

He tensed up, his breath getting quicker. It felt harder to breathe, and he noticed it, but couldn't stop hyperventilating. Tears filled his eyes as he panicked. He knew it was anxiety, but he always felt like he wad dying when this happened. He could never stop himself, as if he had no control over his body and just had to take it. 

He felt strong arms around him, which soothed him a little, but he still was stuck. He heard Mark's voice but couldn't process his words. He couldn't even Speak, only able to make soft whines or groan. 

He felt his body against Mark's chest, and closed his eyes as he tried to calm down. And after a few minutes, he was slowly coming back. He felt mark's arms around him, tracing shapes into his back with one hand and stroking Ethan's hair with the other. His words were now making sense. 

"Shh.. I'm here. I'm here Eth. You're safe, you're fine, and you're doing great. Just breathe, honey" the words made his face heat up, but he couldn't worry about that right now. 

As he caught his breath, he broke the hug, looking up at Mark. The male reached forward and wiped the wetness off of Ethan's cheeks, giving him a caring smile. 

"I'm really sorry, Mark" he apologized, but Mark just Shook his head. 

"Don't ever apologize for something like that. You're alright, you're valid.. You've got this. Do you wanna talk about it?"

Ethan sniffled and let out a sad chuckle "it's dumb I just.. Tried to imagine a life without you and I couldn't.. I don't know why I panicked" he said. "You're just.. So great, you know? And I love being around you and I don't ever wanna lose that.. "

Mark nodded and rubbed Ethan's back. "Well, I'm glad we met. And I'm not going anywhere Eth. That's a promise, okay? I love you" Ethan smiled and nodded, shaking his arms out to try and loosen up a bit. 

"Alright, I'm fine now. Thank you, Mark. And I love you too" he said and leaned back against the couch. 

"Anytime. Now.. How do you feel about watching Frozen two?"


	3. Chapter Three

"Well what are we supposed to do with this?" Ethan asked, taking his mic off. He and Mark had just finished their ikea building video, and were cleaning up some of the trash that came from the boxes. 

"I dunno. Maybe we can burn it in a video. Not sure for what though. We could look through our video ideas and see if any work" Mark replied, picking up the leftover screws and putting them in their bags. 

"Here, pick it up and we'll move it to the shed for now until we find a good use for it" Ethan nodded and grabbed the two parts, lifting them and turning back to face Mark. 

Mark had been turning towards Ethan fast, holding the flat board with the hinges, holding it in the air. 

Ethan let out a breath as the wood hit him hard in the head, and almost Dropping what he was holding. He took a step back, slipping off the edge of the pool and falling in, the wood he held falling on in over him. 

Now, Ethan could swim fine, and under any normal circumstance, he'd be fine. But the combination of jeans, shoes, and feeling dizzy from the hit, all came together. He barely noticed he fell in as he was dazed, and his clothes plus the desk were dragging him to the ground. 

He opened his eyes when he felt a painful pressure on his chest, and looked up. Everything was blurry and watery and he couldn't process what was even happening, and couldn't move. He then saw a face. Mark's face. And next thing he knew, he felt his body being moved. 

When he was laid on the ground, he laid still for a moment, trying to catch the breath he didn't realize he even needed. When he opened his eyes once more, he saw Mark above him. The male had Ethan's head in his lap and hand on his chest. He could feel the gentle movements of Mark rubbing his chest and cradling his head. 

He saw his lips moving, but hadn't processed his words yet. He saw Mark looked worried, and was just trying to realize what had happened. Soon, he finally heard Mark's voice coming through. 

"-than I'm so sorry.. You're alright, I'll make sure you're alright" he sounded so concerned, and it made Ethan feel bad. 

He closed his eyes again, letting the situation process. Mark had accidentally hit him, hard. He had fallen into the pool and didn't even try to move or get out due to the daze. He frowned. That's what the pressure in his chest was. He needed air, and couldn't get any. Luckily, he didn't breathe in any air since he hadnt tried to breath after the fall. 

He reached up and grabbed Mark's hand, smiling a little. "Hey.. I'm alright, I think. My head is killing me, but I'm safe.. Thanks to you.. Your clothes are soaked now though.. "

Mark scoffed. "Fuck the clothes, I don't care. I'm just glad you're okay. Fuck. I should've been more careful. Your head is bleeding just a bit. We should get you inside" Ethan could sense a shakiness in Mark's voice, and he was breathing fast. Had it scared him that bad? 

Mark lifted him up and started towards the door. "Mark, are you okay? You sound upset.. Is it because of me?" He asked. 

"Hey no.. I just panicked for a second. I saw you fall in and you weren't moving in the water. I was worried I knocked you out for a moment.. "

"And you jumped in to save me..?"

Mark looked at Ethan, almost shocked at the question. "What? Ethan, of course. You wouldve drowned! I didn't think twice, I knew I needed to get you out of there. I wasn't gonna let you die. You're important to me, Eth"

Ethan nodded and sighed as he was sat down on his bed. "I'm gonna get some stuff to clean and cover the cut. Are you hungry?" Mark asked, heading for the door to go grab the first aid kit from the kitchen. 

When he came back, Ethan sat up. "Mark you're making a fuss. I'm fine. It's just a scratch and a headache. I'm fine" he said and tried to grab Mark's hand to stop him. Mark stared at him and frowned, shaking his head. 

"Ethan stop. Okay? I hurt you and almost caused you to drown. You took a hard hit and didn't move. Let me fuss over you." Mark countered. 

"Mark I'm not a baby!" Ethan snapped, grabbing the bandaid from Mark's hand. "I can do it myself! Stop treating me like a kid! I'm not super young like when we met. I'm twenty three!"

He watched as Mark looked surprised. Ethan had never yelled at Mark like that unless it was for a bit in a video or a joke. And he hadn't meant to. Mark stood up and looked away. Ethan expected him to get angry, but he didn't. Not at all. 

"I was the one who caused it.. And I was just worried. I'm sorry. You're right" he said and slowly left the room. Fuck. Now Ethan felt guilty. Mark had always been a little protective over Ethan, and their age difference affected that a bit. He was only eighteen, as his birthday hadn't passed, when he did the second backflip in 2015 that sparked their friendship. Mark was twenty-five, soon to be twenty six. Ethan hadn't moved to LA until a few days after his twentieth birthday. 

He wasn't super young, but he was barely an adult, while Mark was in his late twenties. He was the youngest out of their friends, and it showed with how Mark treated him. In the pepper spray video, he comforted Ethan and let him get rinsed first because he knew he was in pain. In Mark's fifth Laughing challenge video with friends, he came up to Ethan and told him he was doing great and that he loved him, because he knew Ethan was overwhelmed and embarrassed. 

And honestly, Ethan loved it, but he wasn't used to it. Mark was the only one out of their friends to sort of baby Ethan a bit. Ethan enjoyed it, but sometimes he thought Mark thought he was weak. He knew it wasn't true though, because Mark always pushed him further. He supported Ethan and helped him push his limits and would comfort him if he was struggling, but wouldn't let Ethan give up. 

He looked down at the bandaid and sighed. He needed Mark. He stood up shakily, not balanced yet. After making sure he wouldn't fall, he went to go find Mark. He didn't Think mark would be in his bedroom, so his recording room was his next guess, and he was right. 

The door was cracked and he saw Mark editing. He knew he was just doing it to distract himself, that's what he always did. He opened the door more and walked In and towards his chair. Mark had heard him, but didn't move. He wasn't mad, but was upset and frustrated and didn't wanna take it out on Ethan. 

"Mark..?" Ethan said slowly, trying to get his attention. When he was ignored, his heart almost dropped. 

"Mark will you put the bandaid on my head" he said in a soft voice. "I.. The lights in the bathroom hurt my head so I can't use the mirror.. " it was an excuse, but he was too shy to admit that he wanted Mark to take care of him. He could see Mark shift, but he still didn't turn around. Ethan just wanted to cry. He didn't mean to upset Mark. 

"I.. " fuck it. "Mark please. My head hurts and I want you to take care of me because I feel safe with you.. And.. And.. I'm sorry for yelling I was overreacting. I like when you care for me.. It makes me feel wanted.. " and that got Mark to instantly turn around. His face looked sad and Ethan never wanted to see that again. 

"My head hurts.. " he was now wiping the tears from his face. He hadn't even realized he was crying, and he felt so pathetic. "I'm such a baby.. "

He then found himself being pulled into mark's chest, his arms tight around Ethan. "You're not a baby.. You're overwhelmed and in pain and upset.. It's okay, here" Mark pulled back and took the bandaid, opening it and placing it over the cut on Ethan's forehead. After placing it, he kissed it. 

"I'm sorry Mark.. I'm just scared that.. I'll be seen as a big baby who can't take care of himself.. I don't want you to see me as a baby" Mark pulled him back close and rubbed his back. 

"Eth you're capable of so much. I don't think you're weak or babyish at all.. I try to take care of you sometimes because I care about you and wanna make you safe.. I know you can take care of yourself but sometimes it's okay to relax and let yourself be fussed over.. " Ethan nodded. He had just been overreacting the whole time. Mark never doubted Ethan, and why would he? That just wasn't Mark. 

He no longer felt weird about being cared for. He knew he'd do the same for Mark, and he has before. So he relaxed in Mark's arms and closed his eyes, letting Mark hold him and rub his back. He was okay. He was safe. 

"I wasn't talking to Chica earlier, I do love you Ethan. You know that. I love you so much.. " Mark said, breaking the silence. Ethan just smiled. 

"I know, Mark.. I love you too"


	4. Chapter Four

The past week had been extremely stressful. Mark had gotten sick for two days, meaning now they were rushing to film enough Unus Annus videos for a week, and they were both extremely stressed. 

Mark became very serious when stressed, and all of Ethan's attempts to cheer him up were met with silence, and Ethan felt bad. He knew they needed to get this done, but he didn't want Mark to be so unhappy throughout it. Mark had been editing for four hours now, so Ethan decided to be a nice friend and get him something to drink, something nice. 

He figured coffee would do the trick, since it was late anyways. He made Mark's coffee the way he liked it and made sure to get a water bottle as well since he assumed Mark hadn't drank enough water today. 

He made his way up the stairs and happily walked into Mark's office. "Mark! I've got a surprise for you!" And that's when things went bad. 

Spencer, in his happy mood, decided to run between Ethan's legs as he walked towards Mark. Ethan tripped and with it, the coffee flew forward and onto Mark. Luckily, it wasn't super hot and had missed Mark's computer. But his clothes and the floor weren't so lucky. Ethan froze. Shit. It was an accident, Mark would understand. 

"Mark I'm so sorry I'll cle-"

"Get out" he was cut off by mark's deep voice. 

He looked at his friend, confused. Get out? "Mark I'm sorry let me just clean it and grab you some new clothes. And I'll make you more coffee" he offered. 

Mark wasn't having it. "God don't you ever fucking listen!? You've been up my ass all goddamn day, distracting me and making my job harder. Can't you just fuck off!"

"I was just trying to help!"

"Just get the fuck out!" Mark yelled louder. Ethan had seen him angry before, but not directly at him. Besides punching a wall, but he was angrier now than he was then. 

"Mark please-"

"Just fucking go! Get out! God, letting you stay here was a mistake. I can't fucking get rid of you. My house has many rooms, go fucking choose one and leave me alone! Jesus Christ what's wrong with you.. "

Ethan stared into Mark's angry eyes, looking for any sign that maybe it was a sick joke. That maybe Mark was just trying to be funny and scare Ethan. All he saw was hate, and it broke his heart. 

"I'm sorry.. I'll go.. " he didn't even bother picking up the mug as he walked out, gesturing for Spencer to follow him out as well. Did Mark mean everything he said? Did Ethan really bug him that much? He didn't know what to do. Maybe Mark was right. Since he temporarily moved in, he'd been hanging out with Mark constantly except for when they filmed their own videos. He enjoyed their time together, and he thought Mark did too. 

He looked down at Spencer and sighed. He couldn't blame him, he was a dog, and he was just happy to see Ethan. He gave him a pat on the head and walked towards his room. What if he just left? What if he gave Mark a break? That seemed to be what Mark wanted. He grabbed his car keys and slid on some shoes. Maybe he'd just go to the park for a few hours. Maybe spend the night star gazing to keep himself calm. 

He didn't bring Spencer, deciding the dog would much rather be around Chica and other people than sit in an empty park. He got out of the house as quiet as possible and made his way to his car. As he started it up, he was worried the sound would disturb Mark. It was three in the morning after all, but then again, maybe he'd be happy to hear that Ethan was gone. And with that thought, he pulled off. 

The drive was relaxing, night rides always were. But it made him think of Mark and their midnight car rides, just talking about nothing. He felt his chest tighten. Mark was an asshole, a stupid asshole. A stupid asshole with a gorgeous face. Perfect smile. Addictive laugh. Voice like warm chocolate. And his heart was what Ethan loved the most. He adored how Mark seemed to always care. He was such a sweet guy deep down, who did anything he could for his friends. But, what about what just happened? Maybe Mark didn't consider Ethan a close friend anymore. Maybe he was wearing out his welcome. Maybe he was sick of him. 

Tears filled his eyes as his knuckles turned white from gripping the steering wheel tighter. Mark had saved him from drowning. Mark had taken care of a hurt Ethan. Did he really hate Ethan? Maybe he did it to keep Ethan around. A false sense of security. Ethan let out a sob, shaking his head. He looked at his shaking hands for a second before his head snapped up to the sound of wheels screeching. He screamed out and turned his car as much as he could, but the last thing he saw was headlights and then darkness. 

\---

It'd been a few hours since Mark kicked Ethan out of the room. He looked over at the clock. Almost six in the morning. Mark had finished his video a while ago and was now sitting in his bed, hair wet from the shower. He knew he'd been too harsh on Ethan. He was stressed and Ethan walked into the line of fire, and he hated himself for it. 

He walked back to his office and stared at the stain on the ground. Accidents happen, and he shouldn't have yelled. It'd be a pain to clean, but it wasnt the end of the world. He picked the mug up and examined it. It was the mug Ethan had gotten him a while ago. It had little hearts drawn on it and a little picture of chica. Ethan had drawn it himself and got it made for Mark, and it was such a sweet gift. He needed to talk to Ethan. 

He walked out to Ethan's room and frowned when he saw the door wide open with no Ethan. His shoes were gone too. Maybe he was outside with the dogs. As he made his way downstairs, that theory was proven wrong as a happy Chica and Spencer ran over to Mark in hopes of some attention. Something didn't feel right. 

And that's when the phone rang. He hoped it was Ethan but he didn't recognize the number. Something in his mind told him he needed to answer. He clicked green button and lifted his phone to his ear. 

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Mark Fischbach?" Said a lady's voice. 

"Yes.. Who's this?"

"Henry medical center. Do you know an Ethan Nestor-Darling?"

No. No no. 

"Yes. Whats going on?" But Mark knew Ethan was hurt. It felt it. He didn't know exactly what happened, but he knew. 

"I regret to inform you your friend has been in an accident and we request you come as soon as possible"

\---

Mark hated waiting rooms. They were so devastating. Some people were here for good reasons, like birth. And others were waiting to find out if a loved one was dead or going to die. Mark hated hospitals. He hated the environment. Ethan was here. Ethan, who had the most adorable laugh and brightening smile. He didn't belong here. 

Mark had not been easy on the medical staff, and he'd regret it later but right now he didn't care. They'd waited three hours to call Mark. To call anyone. Mark should've known first thing. He should've been here as soon as Ethan arrived. He was also pissed at the time. It was ten in the morning. Four hours since he'd gotten the news, and they weren't telling Mark anything. 

He'd been raising hell but he didn't care. These people weren't telling him anything, and he just wanted to scream. Ethan had been hurt for seven hours. In this awful place for seven hours. And mark needed to be by his side. 

It was all his fault. He knew that. He'd caused Ethan to leave when he wasn't emotionally stable. He caused Ethan to put his life in danger. It killed him to know he was responsible. His pacing stopped when someone touched his shoulder. He whipped around to see a doctor standing in front of him. 

"Mr. Nestor is alright" Mark sighed, relief running through his body. "His ankle is broken, and we had to stitch up his forehead. But he got off very lucky. He turned his car just in time so the driver's side didn't take the Blunt of the hit."

Mark nodded. He didn't wanna think of what would've happened if Ethan didn't turn the wheel. "He is stable. You may go see him. Loud noises and bright lights may be painful to his head right now so keep that in mind. Let me know if you need anything"

Mark mumbled a quick thank you before rushing off to Ethan's room. He needed to see him. When he opened the door, his heart dropped. He stepped to the bed and examined his friend. Bandage on his head. Cast on his ankle. His arms and chest were cut up and bruised, but thankfully not too bad. 

He reached for Ethan's hand and sighed. "Eth-"

"No" Ethan said, looking up at his friend. "Don't apologise... I should" Mark raised an eyebrow. What did Ethan need to apologize for?"

"Ethan what-"

"Im sorry" he started. "I'm too clingy. I was just.. Excited about us spending more time together. And you seemed stressed and I wanted to cheer you up. I wasn't trying to distract you... I wanted to make it more enjoyable" Mark frowned. 

"My ADD gets really bad and I can't focus and I know I can be annoying and stressful sometimes.. And I shouldn't be so needy and clingy. I'm not.. That important. I know I'm not your best friend. And honestly if I died in that accident-"

"Don't you dare-"

"You'd be better off without me" Ethan finished, not moving his eyes off of mark. Mark was angry. He was angry at Ethan. But he was angry at himself more than anything. He made Ethan feel useless. He made Ethan question mark's feelings. 

"You're wrong" he said. "You couldn't be more wrong" he sat down and squeezed ethan's hand. "Ethan you're so special to me. You mean.. Everything. I've never cared for someone so much.. I was angry and stressed and I took it out on you because you happened to be there. It wasn't right of me at all. I never want you to go away. Hell, I'd be so happy if you decided to move in permanently so that everyday I could see your sweet smile and hear your laugh and just enjoy everything that makes you Ethan Nestor"

He was crying. Why? Ethan needed comfort and he was the one crying. "I'm a selfish asshole and I don't deserve such an amazing friend like you, Eth. You make everyday so much more enjoyable and I can't imagine a life where we didn't become friends.. I.. " he laid his head down and breathed slowly. He needed to calm down. This wasn't about him. Ethan needed him. 

He flinched in surprise but quickly relaxed to the feeling of Ethan's hand running through his hair. His fingers rubbed mark's scalp and lightly twirled his hair around his fingers. Ethan was comforting Mark after everything he said, and HE was the one in the hospital bed. 

Mark loved this. He loved being close to Ethan. He loved how they spent everyday together, and he didn't want it to end. He loved Ethan. He lifted his head at that realization. He loved Ethan. 

Ethan looked at Mark concerned at why the male was suddenly smiling in a situation like this. 

Mark looked at Ethan and laughed. "The other day you asked if not being fulfilled had anything to do with you.. And it does"

Ethan frowned, looking down at his lap. "I'm sorry Mark.. I don't mean to get in the way.. I-"

He was cut off when Mark cupped his cheeks. "It does...because if I died today I wouldn't be happy with how I left things. Hiding my feelings. I love you Ethan"

"I know, Mark, you've said it before"

"No, Ethan.. I'm in love with you" before Ethan could protest, Mark's lips were against his, taking his breath away. His lips were much softer than he expected, and his beard tickled a bit, but it was perfect. 

He wrapped his arms around Mark's neck, pulling the man down closer to him. He parted his lips and let Mark in, letting him take control. He couldn't help but shiver at the feeling of mark's hands on his hips. 

Mark decided Ethan was the best thing he'd ever tasted. He tasted sweet, and he couldn't get enough. He held on to Ethan's hips and moved his hands up to his chest, but then he remembered the bruises. He broke the kiss, earning a whine from Ethan who pouted at him. 

"You're hurt" Ethan sighed and nodded. "You don't need to be uh.. Getting Dick while youre bruised up and can't walk." Ethan blushed at the statement. Mark was very Blunt it seemed. 

"But I will be here until you get out. And I will take care of you and make things fun and I'll carry you everywhere until you can walk" Ethan couldn't help but blush. Mark could be a real goof, but he loved it. 

"I'm yours.. " Ethan said softly and held on to Mark's hand. "And.. This is gonna be weird but im down for it. And I'm willing to take it slow.. Because you're amazing and I don't wanna lose you.. " he said. 

"You won't lose me.. We'll figure this out. But for now, you rest, okay?" He said and kissed Ethan's forehead. "Let me know if you need anything, my arms are ready to carry"

Ethan laughed. But Mark meant it.


End file.
